If you’ve moved before, you know the first few weeks are filled with excitement. You’re exploring your surroundings and enjoy the novelty of a new location. However, as the honeymoon phase fades, the reality of actually living in your new space sets in.
You have to start the process of creating a life with new routines in a new community, and sometimes that can be difficult in the beginning. You may not have the network you had at home and it takes some intentionality to establish a new one in a country where you haven’t made connections yet. And if we’re honest, it’s kinda hard making friends as an adult. It won’t happen overnight, but with patience you can find those connections and create your social network.
You don’t have to wait until you’ve moved to start the foundation of expanding your network. There are a few steps you can do before you leave that can make things easier once you’re in location.
Leverage Social Media: Social media is a powerful tool for connection and you don’t have to wait until you move. Search for hashtags like #BlackExpat or #BlackTravel and join groups that focus on shared experiences and advice. These online spaces often have resources, meetups, and tips for navigating life abroad as a person of color.
Local networks can give insight into what life is really like on the ground, what businesses you definitely should work and what events you want to be a part of. Use those networks to start conversations and build those connections before you even get on the plane. If you are planning on visiting before you move, you can use these groups to find opportunities to meet in person and create the groundwork for a network before you make the move.
Boost your professional networks: If you’re relocating for employment or an organization, use your employer’s network to connect with others who have made a similar move. Many companies offer relocation resources, mentorship programs, or employee groups that can help you and your family transition smoothly. Be proactive in seeking out these opportunities and engaging with colleagues who can offer valuable insights and support.
If you’re a self-directed digital entrepreneur, tap into local entrepreneurial communities by joining coworking spaces, attending industry meetups, or connecting with professional organizations in the region. These networks not only provide a chance to meet like-minded individuals but also open doors to collaborations and business opportunities in your new environment.
Learn the language: Are you moving somewhere that doesn’t speak your native tongue? If possible, learn the language. It doesn’t mean you’ll be perfect, and you may never reach native fluency but taking the time to communicate in at least one of the official languages is worth it. Plus, people tend to be even more responsive when you showcase the ability or at least an interest to respond to them in their native tongue. If nothing else, it is worth it to learn the basics. Hello, Please and Thank you in a local language can go really far. You can’t assume that locals are able to communicate in your native language(s). While it doesn’t mean, some locals won’t try, but don’t assume that they always will.
The Global Chatter Podcast
If you're someone who learns best through real experiences, Global Chatter is where Black expats share the unfiltered realities of building a life abroad — the community they found, the loneliness they navigated, and what finally made a new place feel like home.
Listen to Global Chatter →
Once you’re in-country, there are few things you can do as you settle in to build your community.
Build relationships with your neighbors. There’s nothing wrong with creating relationships with other expats. After all, there are commonalities you may have with others who have moved and made their home in your host country. But you moved for a reason, and if you wanted to remain with those who were just like you, you could’ve stayed at home. There’s nothing stranger than people who have lived in a country for years and have not built good relationships with the locals.
Instead, if you are going to make an adopted home,then truly make it home. Invite neighbors for coffee or drinks. Find genuine opportunities for conversations with the family across the street. Walk in your neighborhood and say hello to those you see frequently. Get out the door and experience the local culture through cultural events, festivals, and celebrations.Create a rapport with those around and find the opportunity to connect.
Join Interest Groups and Get Active: If you’ve always wanted to take a salsa class, learn how to cook kimchi or take an art class, doing it at your new location can help introduce you to new friends. Find interest groups or classes that align with your hobbies.
Volunteering is another excellent way to connect with like-minded individuals who share your passion for giving back. It also provides valuable insight into the needs of your new community.
If you’re a person of faith, you may want to explore faith communities that align with yours and reach out. Many religious communities offer social events for followers to connect.
If you are looking specifically for other Black expats or people of African descent, search out organizations that cater specifically to those demographics. Many cities have organizations or networks that bring together Black professionals, entrepreneurs, and creatives.
Arrange Playdates & Kid Meetups: If you are moving with your kids, children can be a good reason to meet other people. Whether it’s at school or afterschool activities, use the opportunity to build a social network. Take the initiative to strike up conversations with other parents. Drop-off and pick-up times provide casual moments to chat with other parents while waiting for your child.Joining parent groups, volunteering for school events, or arranging playdates for your children can also open doors to meaningful friendships and a support system in your new community.
As you get settled in, remember building your community abroad takes time. With an open mind, patience, and a willingness to connect, you’ll build meaningful relationships and turn your new home into a place where you thrive.
This post is part of The Settling Curve, a TBE series on the emotional and psychological experience of building a life abroad. If you’re still in the thick of the six-month slump, start there — or if you’ve done the work above and still feel like something’s missing, the next post in the series is about what belonging actually takes.